NOT SO SORRY

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I'm on that line right now, trying to find balance. Yes I'm on that line between pleasure and pain that I don't want to fall to neither of the sides.
The things I feel recently are nothing but fantasies. With an unclear mind and a spinning head I dive into action, typically like blind gamble.
This blind gamble seem to have put me in a tight corner, I'm at gun point, my decision aiming at me with pain in her eyes and a temper out of leash. She looks straight into my eyes and ask, "why did you make me if you weren't sure about me"?
I'm trying to explain but my throat is mysteriously dry and my tongue seems tied, and to be honest I'm scared she'll pull the trigger before I get to explain to her how magical the thought of bringing her into existence was.., how beautiful it felt when I explained her concept to my friends. I am even more scared that I might not be able to explain how sorry I am. Hoping she can read my mind I look straight into her teary eyes and thinking how sorry i am...sorry for not believing in her, sorry for flirting with other people's decision, sorry for taking her for granted, sorry for underestimating her. But I'm definitely not sorry for making her, dancing with her on that line between pleasure and pain, running wild with her on the fields of pleasure, or gnashing teeth in the room of pain.
Hey Dee look, I am not sorry for choosing you. I'm only sorry that I didn't give you my all, I mean I thought I did... but I really want you to know that if you pull that trigger on me, you'll be making a decision that'll kill you too. Because we draw from the same dragon breath. 

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